Hello readers!
I would like to update you all on my well being 3 years post chemotherapy and bone marrow transplant. This will be a more raw post...
My daughter is almost 14 months old and we are both very healthy and living happy (and my husband). Thank God! I haven't had any issues with the bone marrow rejecting or aplastic returning. I had an easy time with my pregnancy, birth and I was able to breastfeed until Estie was a year old. Aplastic anemia is so rare and most of you don't even know what that is but if there is someone reading this that is diagnosed with it, just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever you are going through, it will pass and it will disappear like the sun during sunset. The pain will be gone, the endless hospital visits and needle pokes-those will all just be a memory. There are only a few treatments for this scary sickness but God gives us wisdom and he also gave us doctors and medicine to help us. I believe God worked through doctors towards my healing and there were many times I felt his hand and his loving arms holding me. Like when I had no side effects from the chemo (besides hair loss and it bringing down my immune system like it was supposed to) but I didn't have any nausea or rashes or sores. No vomiting, diarrhea or GVH disease. I didn't want to hide under the bed sheets and die. God was also with me when I had no depression from this traumatic experience. From Loosing my hair, gaining 20 pounds in 1 week from water weight, to having to pause life for 6 months. I had a painful port in my upper chest which has left a small scar that might never fade. I have those moments when I think back to that time in my life and I just shudder because it was such a scary time in my life. I had to give up restaurants, malls, flowers and plants, raw fruits and vegetables and so much more for 3 months...and through it all, I had peace on my heart. How? One word. God.
While I was going through this season of my life, it was bad news after bad news. Trial after trial. Transfusion after transfusion and never ending blood draws. And while I was going through it, it just didn't seem real. It was my life, so I was just doing life. There was nothing complicated about it- I just had to survive. When I think back, Im shocked at how I handled it because if it was now it would seem like the end of the world. And thats the thing, I just had so much peace and that peace came from faith. Faith that I was going to be healed and that I will live. Faith that I would recover and my body would be restored again 100% in Jesus name! I never doubted God and what he can do. I proclaimed life and proclaimed children and now I honestly have the most beautiful and amazing daughter that brings so much joy to our life- joy that words cant explain. Because no words can explain that feeling where you have so much joy in your heart that it seems like its sinking and melting and exploding at the same time from all the happiness your feeling in a moment. How amazing is this love we feel for our children? I can't imagine how much more our heavenly Father loves us since he is LOVE himself. And he didn't heal me just because he loves me, but because he wants me to share with others because he loves you too! And he wants your to be healed, freed from bondage or whatever pain your going through. He loves all of his children and he just wants us to love him. Is it really so hard to love him? Why cant we just accept him as children do and just trust him to take care of all of our life problems. He already knows what we are going through and what will happen. He will take care of it and in time everything will pass. Just enjoy your life while he takes your burden. He did send his son Jesus to die for us and he did send us the holy spirit to be our whisper in our ear to guide us and give us peace.
The more you realize that life is so precious, the more you realize that the things we care about are so pointless. Like will we be running to our closet for our expensive shoes or purses when God comes back for his church- or lets say if your house is burning; is it all worth it?? You cant take any belongings with you when you die. You cant take your fame or instagram followers with you. All that gossip you drink up will do you no good. You will want no alcohol in your system so that you have a clear mind and clean heart. But what you can take with you is a heart that has been filled with love and joy. A life worth living for. A life where you serve others and help those in need. A life where it matters if you are actually gone. Friendship is one of the best things you can have on this earth- a good friendship can strengthen and mold you. You can share your burdens with the people who love you most and will lift you up when you need it. Every one needs good friends. Remember that as iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpen the mind of another as proverbs says. Be careful with you association but also pray for the people who need their hearts to be drawn towards Jesus. It the enemy that makes good people do bad things. Satan is the influence for all evil deeds. So don't hate the people who hate you- pray for them because only God can change their heart!
Anyways, so in this last year while I have been watching my daughter grow I have slowly been learning to enjoy the little things. We don't know when our last day is. And we don't know when our loved ones last day is- so always be kind. Please stop judging others. Who cares if they are different than you are! God made them beautiful in their own way. I know and believe I am completely healed and the same God that healed me can do wonderful things in your life. I am living one day at a time and I have so much to be thankful for. Like to be here today to share my testimony with you. I have peace on my heart and I would love for everyone to have this peace. That whatever happens tomorrow, everything we be okay. This world is just our temporary stop before we get to go home. Thank you for reading! Blessings
Hello to all of you readers. Over the last few months I have been soaking in every precious moment with my beautiful baby daughter. God has blessed us with a true miracle- a healthy, sweet, adorable baby girl. At my last post I think I was about 32 weeks pregnant. Estie came to us early at 35 weeks. It was a scary but very exciting experience. My water broke early morning at 6:45 and we went to the hospital to confirm that I was in labor. I was already 3cm dilated and having contractions 3-4 minutes apart that I did not feel. I got some Pitocin and got admitted. Over the hours the contractions got stronger and more painful and closer. I took a bath around 3 and then got some fentanyl once the bath wasn't helping anymore at around 4-by then I was 6cm dilated. The fentanyl only helped for about 15 minutes and then I asked for the epidural. I got the epidural at 4:30 when I was 8cm, and it kicked in fully around 5pm and by then I was 10cm and ready to push. Just remembering all of this brings back such an interesting yet special memory! When I started pushing the only people in the room were my husband, my doula, and my nurse. After only a couple of sets up pushing her head started to show. Yan and me were like, shouldn't we wait for a doctor?? But Estie was coming so fast that they called them in at 5:15 and at 5:20 I started pushing again. Estie came out at 5:39 and started crying right away. I was in such a dream that I still get emotional thinking about it. She was so small and sweet and holding her was the best feeling ever. She was 5 pounds 1 ounce, 18 inches long and a whole lot of perfection. The NICU nurses took her away and she needed help with her breathing until the next day. It was hard to see her with so many wires but I was so thankful to God for modern day help from doctors. She started having some apnea and after a couple of days they decided to give her some caffeine. She would stop breathing and that would make her heart rate fall and so they said the caffeine would help her and it did. The checked her brain with an ultrasound and did some tests for infections to rule out if those were the cause of the apnea but all the results were good so they said it's from the prematurity. Estie was in the Nicu for 11 days and while she was there she did blue light therapy twice for her jaundice levels. Her weight dropped down to 4 pounds 9 ounces and then went back to 5 2 ounces when she went home. When she was able to go home it was the happiest moment. We were so excited, I got so tired living there because I stayed with her every day and night. I could not leave her and when I did I felt so bad even though she was practically always sleeping. My recovery was very good. The 2nd day was the hardest because it felt like I was hit by a train but then everything was easier. The swelling and water weight went away within days. I had colostrum instantly, my milk came in on the 3rd day and I had so much milk that I was freezing.
All of the nurses and doctors loved Estie saying that she was beautiful, feisty and a perfect preemie. She ate so well and everything about her was just the way it needs to be. Shes still the most amazing baby and such a sweetheart! Shes a little behind for her age but that's okay! Before we know it she will be crawling, walking, talking- we are just enjoying these amazing moments. We are so in love with her. Thank you everyone for your prayers. God promised- and he came through. Like he always does.
Hello readers!
Update on my wonderful pregnancy- I am almost 32 weeks and I cannot believe how fast the time is going!
Seems like I just found out the gender and that was 14 weeks ago, I have 8 left! Its unbelievable to think that I will be holding my little lady soon. Watching my belly grow has been the most interesting feeling as her movements increased, my love for her grew. Sometimes i feel like she will rip right out of my belly lol. She get hiccups, she kicks, she gets moving when she hears papas voice. I cannot wait to lay my eyes on her. I am so thankful to God for this opportunity to bring a life into this world- even though I know it is all him, he is using me. And I am praying for that wisdom. So since my last post, they checked, and my placenta moved! This means I will be able to try to have a natural birth without a c-section. Unless if there is some emergency of course. I am still debating on if I want to get epidural but that is what everyone says. I most likely will ask for the smallest dose and then get more if I can't handle it. I have not been having anxiety about the birth but that will probably change soon. I have had major nesting urges. All I want to do is clean and reorganize, but I cannot do much right now because we are doing a full blown remodel on our whole downstairs and the coming baby room. Which is not even close to being ready. Golly.
Update on how I have been feeling: GREAT
However, I started feeling the weight of the baby around 25 weeks and it gets harder every week. Sometimes I feel like I have to roll out of bed, and my feet have been hurting after a couple of hours of being on them. Lately, it has been really hot, and just this last week at 31 weeks, I experienced my first feet swelling lol. It wasn't bad, but wasn't comfortable. I just need to remember to elevate my feet, not sit for a long time, drink enough water, and stay away from a lot of salt. So far, that has been the only major issue. Everything else has been going smooth, thank God.
Yanik built out little girl the cutest closet, and it is already full of super cute clothes, shoes, swaddles. That is the only thing I have ready and the bassinet, but that's the main stuff right?
Anyways, I'll stay in touch!
xoxo Regina
Hello dear readers!
I know, I know, it's been a while. But that's a good thing right? Still means that everything is going great and I have nothing to write about really. However, I do have a lot of new updates! Especially for those who don't keep up with me via Insatgram (Dressy_daisy).
Ok well I don't even know where to start!
Since my one year after transplant post, things were pretty steady. I was taking an iron chelator medication here and there to help lower my iron level. That worked for a little and it went down to about 1,000. As mentioned before it should be anywhere from 7-207 for an average person. Mine was super high from all the transfusions I received that helped me, well basically, live. That was about September when they checked. At that appointment my doctor talked to me and he told me that I need to wait another year to try to get pregnant. At least it was a very strong recommendation. Yes, I was very disappointed and heart broken but I knew that he has education in this stuff and that he knows better than me. He said that there just isn't enough research and information on aplastic anemia and pregnancy for him to tell me it's okay. Also with chemo, they recommend 2 years also so that there are less chances of birth defects. Of course there were tears and prayers coming from me after. And then the more I testified my story, the more I realized that God has done so much wonderful things in my life and he will not stop! I knew anything is possible with him and I started praying for a healthy baby. I prayed over my womb daily and proclaimed in Jesus name that I am healed and that when I do get pregnant that I will have a healthy child. I went back to OHSU in December to do all my vaccines. I had 6 of them done and little did I know, I had conceived that week! Yes I got pregnant. This would mark 1 year and 4 months after transplant. This was also 2 years and 2.5 months after we got married and we always talked about waiting 2 years to have kids and it coincidentally fell on this mark. It all started on Christmas day when I felt tired all of the sudden like a wave half way through the day and then 2 days later I was having to pee every hour. 3 days after Christmas I checked and sure enough I was pregnant. A positive line right away. Of course I had to double check lol. I even checked one more time on my lunch break at work. I kept this in all day and when I got home from work I made Yanik a sweet surprise box so that I could tell him that I am pregnant. I put it under the tree and had him open it. Lets just say, it was the most sweetest and happiest moment of our lives. He was smiling for the rest of the week! God had sent me a miracle baby and it was ours to keep. The fact that I conceived was just an incredible feeling that I was waiting for. Everything that I was praying for. After I confirmed my pregnancy at a local clinic I was very worried about the vaccines so I called my doctors office and they assured me that they should not have an effect on the baby since they were not live vaccines. Thank God! I had polio, Hep B, tetanus, Prevna, hep a, and meningitis (very sore arms after by the way-3 on each arm lol).
When I had my 12 week appointment and my first ultrasound, it felt so unreal. I couldn't hold back the tears but at the same time I still couldn't believe it. They said that the baby looks healthy and with it's strong heartbeat that it's a keeper. Words that all expecting mamas want to hear. Of course they told me that I am gonna be high risk and they will have to closely monitor me and my aplastic anemia in case if it returns and that its an antepartum pregnancy but I believe that I am healed from it and that it wont. In fact, I don't even feel like I'm high risk because everything has been so perfect and smooth. I don't see my doctor more than any other normal pregnant women. Once a month! But not everything has been perfect, my iron did go up to 1600 by the beginning of the pregnancy so I decided to do a few phlebotomy draws and that helped bring it down to 1000 and I might do a few more. It's basically like donating blood but they take half as much because I'm pregnant and they just throw it away because its not usable. My poor veins are so done, half the time its hard for the nurses to find a good vein without hurting me. But this is all a season and it too will pass! It could be worse, I could still be sick.
Well anyways, today I am 22 weeks and 3 weeks ago we found out that we are having a little GIRL!!!
We are beyond excited and I cannot wait to hold her already and kiss her sweet face. I have waited my whole life for her! I started feeling her kicks at 17 weeks, and they have not stopped. Especially when I eat something, it's like a dance party in there hehe.
Also they told me that I might have placenta previa at my 18 week appointment and so they had to double check me 3 weeks later. It's when the placenta makes its home low in the uterus and close to the cervix and mine is low lying right now. If it doesn't move, this can lead to complications and also means I would need to get a c-secion about 3 weeks early. The last thing I want or need is to be cut. When I went back last week, her head was in the way so they told me that they will keep watching it to see and said to come back in 8 weeks. By then they will clearly be able to see if the placenta slid over or not. Placenta previa can be dangerous and they have to watch for bleeding but my doctor assured me that it's not the scariest thing and that most likely the placenta moves. I pray it does! Also they checked my baby for genetic disorders and for down syndrome and all the results came back looking really good with a very small chance of the baby having anything, thank God. They say that she looks like a very healthy baby, and to me she already looks perfect! Her little nose and face shape are so precious!
Back in October of 2014, God said in my prophecy that he was still gonna still send us a great happiness. This was a month before I was hospitalized for aplastic anemia, so I didn't even know what was coming! Because of this promise, I never once doubted my healing or my ability to have children. Even when the doctors told me that I might not be able to have kids, I rebuked those words in Jesus name. My husband was so wonderful, he always told me that God was going to heal me and that everything would be okay. I knew my heavenly father was watching over me and that he was gonna send us this child. He kept telling me later: trust, pray, proclaim, believe, and always be thankful! He wanted me to believe and he said that I would receive and that he was protecting and keeping me safe. He is so loving!! Friends, words and faith have power. God is always on our side, we just have to have hearts like children, believe even when the world says no, when the doctors say no, when the results say no. Because God can say YES.
Two years passed since that promise, so don't be discouraged when your prayers aren't answered the minute you ask them. God must first take you through a journey in order for you to grow and learn.
And look, everything has been falling back into place after our trial and now we have learned to trust in the Lord more. Our love is deeper for each other and our foundation is much stronger. After chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant a baby is possible! We have an angel coming soon, and we cannot wait to finally meet her. The most important thing is that she will be healthy. Thank you all for reading, I will try to keep up all updated on anything new. Be blessed!
xoxo
I am writing today to give praise to our heavenly Father, King of Kings.
Life has been so busy and I've been too busy to keep up with my blog, and to that I can thank God. Why you ask? Because life is back to being as normal as it used to be. Daily tasks keep me busy like a normal person. Oh boy does it feel good. This can account on why this post is a little late..
3 weeks ago I hit my 1 year anniversary since my bone marrow transplant. It was a year ago that I was in the hospital, looking out the window at the 'normal' healthy people going on about with their lives, some with not a care in the world. I was battling a battle inside my head mentally, spiritually with the good and the evil, and physically. Every day was hard on it's own but God was with me the whole time like he promised. His care for me was like that of a mother with a newborn. He rocked me to sleep every night and put his angels in my room to fight off anything that can harm me. Not enough words can describe the love I continue to feel from him. I love him more and more every day as I think about how blessed I was and how he spared my life and literally kept me from feeling the things everyone feels with this deadly sickness. And he is putting everything back into place. Like he said he would.
So as for updates on my life after aplastic anemia, my counts have been at a solid normal for a while now. My iron is still dangerously high and it goes up and down but is not going down as fast as I would like it to. The doctors want to do a 1 year evaluation which includes a bone density test as well as a bone marrow biopsy. This will be my 5th and I am scared to death of this procedure as you all know because it is extremely painful. My insurance changed and so I will be transferring to a new oncology specialist and I am kinda worried about that because I do not know what to expect.
Also after 1 year they do a test that checks if the ovaries are still functioning. They did my test and I am not menopausal so thank Jesus! They said everything looks good so far from what it is showing. Yes I only had 5 days of chemo but it was pretty intense.
I am pretty sure a lot of people have been wodering about my hair..
I have not been comfortable enough to talk about it yet, but I feel like I am ready now.
Yes, I lost my hair 10 days after the transplant. My hair was so long, it was well past half way down my back. I cried when I started seeing pieces of hair on my pillow, prayed when was able to easily pull out pieces without any effort. After being in denial and having my hair in a bun for a few days I finally decided it was time to wash it. As I took out the head band, a quarter of my hair came out with it. The rest I was just able to basically just brush out. I bawled in shock as my husband held me close and told me it was going to be okay. I am still surprised how strong he was as he didn't cry with me, but instead got the nerve to shave the rest of my head. After my shower, I never cried about my hair again. He went to the store for me and got me head scarves and when I put them on he told me that I looked so much cuter than I did with the dirty old bun. I was 15 pounds over my normal weight at that time too so you can only imagine how self conscious I was feeling. But no, he still loved me, was attracted to me, and looked at me the same way he did the day we said our vows.
What I am thankful for also is that I got to keep my eye lashes and eye brows and they both got a lot thicker, and with a wig and cap, you couldn't even tell that I was sick. I didn't want people to know because I don't like sympathy and don't want pity. I am who I am, what happened, happened. I am okay with it. But a lot of people did know because they knew I was gonna take chemotherapy. And about the hair, the only thing that mattered after it fell out was if it was going to grow back. And as soon as I felt it, I was so happy. One thing is to lose it, it's another when it never grows back which can happen. So thank the Lord. With every month, my hair grew and I felt better about my self. I recently was able to get a trim and my husband wouldn't even let me touch the wig because he said I was too beautiful for it. It took a year for me to grow it out to where I was comfortable with it, but that is because my hair grows very slowly. And it's just hair. I know there are much greater things people have to live without forever, like a limb or ability to walk, see or hear. Be thankful if you have all of those. Be thankful if nothing about your health is bothering you. Be thankful to be alive. Be thankful if you are a christian and God has found you and set you apart from the world. Be thankful for everything that you have and everyone.
I will keep you all posted on everything new or any updates. Thank you for reading. Blessings.
xoxo
Hello loved ones. Yes it has already been 9 months since transplant and it is crazy to think about how fast time passes. With every day and lab test, more good news and progress is noted. I had my labs done yesterday and my red blood is at 12.7 and platelets are at 150. My iron is still very high and went up, probably because my body is producing it now too, and it is at 1678, SUCKS :/
But I am still taking meds for that, I will try to be better about taking them. My doctor says I am doing great and my labs have been changed from once a week to once a month!! Praise God. After being poked every other day, this is such a blessing to my poor arms. This gives me more free time also and makes me feel more normal. I was listening to my prophecies yesterday and wow, God came through. So much was opened to me, and I realized how much God was with me. He told me he would be with me, he would do great miracles, he would help me and I would testify. I can see this stuff folding out in front of my eyes. A very small amount of people have very few or even no side effects from chemo and I was one of them. By Gods grace, that wasn't in my cup to drink through this already hard trial. I even felt okay since the day I got sick. Yes when I was severely anemic I did not feel great and had headaches and petechiae but I have been anemic for the last year and a half and I felt a lot more wonderful than the average semi-anemic person. I lived life, I went on. A person is the sickest when they let themselves feel that way. During all my labs and infusions I did not feel the poke or needle half the time. All in all, God is good, all the time. One of the things God told me almost 3 years ago, before I got sick, was that he was gonna use me and I was gonna testify. And his words are life and are true. Aside my testimony, here's another one...
I am from a big family with 5 brothers and 1 sister. I have loving parents that have raised us up to be who we are today. However, what they teach us does not mean that the world can't change us. No family is perfect and we all have problems. My little brother Alex was my donor, hes 23, and he had problems recently involving drug use. I am not embarrassed to say that because it is very common, and it's the devil that manipulates and ruins people, not the person themselves. We live in a sinful world and we need to be wise about our friends, activities, and free time. He was struggling with this problem on and off for some time and it put a strain on his relationship with God. When I told him he's a match to be my donor, there was no hesitation from him. Well, I had many people who said they would do it for me if they could. By the time the transplant came around and he had donated to me, he was given pain killers. I can't say this was the issue for him, but like stating before, there was a strain. He wasn't serious about anything and eventually wasn't working anymore. A few weeks after transplant my mom told him I had a minor infection and he felt so guilty. He thought, why is she the sick one? She's done nothing and I am the bad one here... It made him think.. A couple days later he had set up arrangements with God Will Provide Ministries Church in Sacramento California. He wanted to get away and have a fresh start. He needed to rekindle that fire that used to burn in his heart for the Lord. He entered their 6 month program and graduated in February. This last weekend, my mom, sister and sister in law, brother and cousin flew down to support him. Wanna know why? He got baptized! He turned his life around and surrendered it all at the foot of the cross. It was a very special and touching day. We are all very proud of him. And to top it off, he's gonna continue to serve and may God bless him. He is on a missionary trip in Panama City right now. He will be there for 6 months! At some point he will be there on his own running the church. I am so happy that God is using him. He's testifying about me, I'm testifying about him, it's astonishing. He's the brother I would beat up growing up, and he is the brother that saved my life. Please keep him in your prayers, as this will not be an easy thing for him. So as you can see, God is doing his work. But this is only the beginning, Keep posted.
Blessings
xoxo
Today is a good day to remember. My blood count is finally in the normal! I am soooo happy and so thankful to God for keeping his promise and healing me and for giving me life. I got my second chance and it's a great reason to testify and spread the love. My red blood is finally at 12.3 and the average is 12-16. It's been almost 9 months since transplant. Yes, it might be a little longer than usual but I am very grateful. My hemoglobin was always around 7 or less since November 2014. So I was anemic and had the life of a weak person for a while even though somehow God gave me the strength to keep up with my daily tasks. It feels so normal and right when I can run or do an activity without the pain of my heart overworking from lack of blood. It's like a breath of fresh air. It's something we take for granted- even I did before I knew how much it is worth. My platelets are at a steady 155 (normal is 140-375) and it's been over 2 months since my last blood transfusion. It's a relief knowing I don't have to have huge needles in my arm every week and that my arms can heal. I have so much to be thankful for. Thank God for doctors, medicine, education, healing, technology, prayer, and all the things that were used during the process. I still can't believe how fast time is flying by and how my body is slowly going back to normal. Thank God!
Also the biggest testimony, and more soon to come, I am flying down to Cali in a few days to visit my brother Alex. He is my younger brother that was my donor. After my transplant he moved there and he is getting baptized this weekend so some of my family and I are flying down to support him. Stay tuned to my next blog and I will give you an amazing story about what God has done to his life. Him being my donor was God's master plan to bring him to repentance and salvation. I cannot even describe how amazing our God is and I am so overwhelmed with his love and mercy.
Anyways, I will be posting soon.
Love you all, thank you for your prayers.
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