I started thinking about this and started doing research. My insurance will not cover it and it will cost anywhere from $6500.00-$10,000.00

Even though the chance for infertility is a possibility I didn't want to take the risk of never having kids. I mean my husband and I just got married 9 months ago and we already want kids. If I go through with the transplant and undergo chemotherapy they said there's a chance of not getting pregnant after, and if you do try, you should wait 2-3 years so that your children don't get born with defects or health problems. This can occur from the high doses of chemotherapy. We were like what!? 2-3 years? It was heart breaking to hear, but I did not let the thoughts bring me down. Our God is God, everything is possible with him. I believe he will still bring us those blessings. In his time whatever his will is. I just know that when he does bless us, we will be so overfilled with joy, it will be the happiest moment in our life. Just because we have heard the words, 'you might never have children."

Also, since my platelets are so low, usually under 30k, I am constantly getting transfusions. My body isn't producing blood or platelets so I keep going because of transfusions. I would need to undergo a surgery for harvesting. They would have to cut me open and do the procedure and then let me heal for a couple weeks before staring with the transplant. This could be dangerous. If it takes my body 2 weeks to heal a scrape, will I be okay to move on to chemo?? This is a risk also that is saying I shouldn't harvest. But since I will be saying no to this, the transplant will move forward, and that means it will happen within the next 3-4 weeks. This whole treatment can take up to 6 months with recovery. I am trying to stay calm, trying to stay strong. I will be positive. I know that no matter what God is with me. If it's his will for me to go through with this, he will bless the hands of the doctors, if he will have mercy on me, I will be forever thankful. I guess I'm just selfish about my flesh, I don't want to lose my hair, I don't want to look in the mirror and see a stranger looking back at me. I just turned 25 this week, I wanna be able to spend this 1st year of marriage making the best memories. Instead its filled with painful moments that only happen in nightmares. I don't know how my husband is so strong, Thank the Lord for such an amazing life partner, he cherishes me like a precious jewel, there isn't anything he wouldn't do for me. He cradles me like a child, cherishes me like his most precious treasure. I love him so much. I wish this all never happened but I cannot not be thankful for such a trial. It has brought me so much closer to God, I have learned so much, life is so different in my eyes. I thank God for everything now. How amazing and beautiful is life? Health is so important, this body is the only home I have on this earth, people take care of yourselves! enjoy everyday. I know that after life was taken away from me and given back, only then will I learn how to live. I live by faith, I am holding on to faith. I know that through God, anything is possible.

-xoxo reggie