3 Years Post Bone marrow transplant for Aplastic Anemia

Hello readers!
I would like to update you all on my well being 3 years post chemotherapy and bone marrow transplant. This will be a more raw post...
 My daughter is almost 14 months old and we are both very healthy and living happy (and my husband). Thank God! I haven't had any issues with the bone marrow rejecting or aplastic returning. I had an easy time with my pregnancy, birth and I was able to breastfeed until Estie was a year old. Aplastic anemia is so rare and most of you don't even know what that is but if there is someone reading this that is diagnosed with it, just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever you are going through, it will pass and it will disappear like the sun during sunset. The pain will be gone, the endless hospital visits and needle pokes-those will all just be a memory. There are only a few treatments for this scary sickness but God gives us wisdom and he also gave us doctors and medicine to  help us. I believe God worked through doctors towards my healing and there were many times I felt his hand and his loving arms holding me. Like when I had no side effects from the chemo (besides hair loss and it bringing down my immune system like it was supposed to) but I didn't have any nausea or rashes or sores. No vomiting, diarrhea or GVH disease. I didn't want to hide under the bed sheets and die. God was also with me when I had no depression from this traumatic experience. From Loosing my hair, gaining 20 pounds in 1 week from water weight, to having to pause life for 6 months. I had a painful port in my upper chest which has left a small scar that might never fade. I have those moments when I think back to that time in my life and I just shudder because it was such a scary time in my life.  I had to give up restaurants, malls, flowers and plants, raw fruits and vegetables and so much more for 3 months...and through it all, I had peace on my heart. How? One word. God.
While I was going through this season of my life, it was bad news after bad news. Trial after trial. Transfusion after transfusion and never ending blood draws. And while I was going through it, it just didn't seem real. It was my life, so I was just doing life. There was nothing complicated about it- I just had to survive. When I think back, Im shocked at how I handled it because if it was now it would seem like the end of the world. And thats the thing, I just had so much peace and that peace came from faith. Faith that I was going to be healed and that I will live. Faith that I would recover and my body would be restored again 100% in Jesus name! I never doubted God and what he can do.  I proclaimed life and proclaimed children and now I honestly have the most beautiful and amazing daughter that brings so much joy to our life- joy that words cant explain. Because no words can explain that feeling where you have so much joy in your heart that it seems like its sinking and melting and exploding at the same time from all the happiness your feeling in a moment. How amazing is this love we feel for our children? I can't imagine how much more our heavenly Father loves us since he is LOVE himself. And he didn't heal me just because he loves me, but because he wants me to share with others because he loves you too! And he wants your to be healed, freed from bondage or whatever pain your going through. He loves all of his children and he just wants us to love him. Is it really so hard to love him? Why cant we just  accept him as children do and just trust him to take care of all of our life problems. He already knows what we are going through and what will happen. He will take care of it and in time everything will pass. Just enjoy your life while he takes your burden. He did send his son Jesus to die for us and he did send us the holy spirit to be our whisper in our ear to guide us and give us peace.
The more you realize that life is so precious, the more you realize that the things we care about are so pointless. Like will we be running to our closet for our expensive shoes or purses when God comes back for his church- or lets say if your house is burning; is it all worth it?? You cant take any belongings with you when you die. You cant take your fame or instagram followers with you. All that gossip you drink up will do you no good. You will want no alcohol in your system so that you have a clear mind and clean heart. But what you can take with you is a heart that has been filled with love and joy. A life worth living for. A life where you serve others and help those in need. A life where it matters if you are actually gone. Friendship is one of the best things you can have on this earth- a good friendship can strengthen and mold you. You can share your burdens with the people who love you most and will lift you up when you need it. Every one needs good friends. Remember that as iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpen the mind of another as proverbs says. Be careful with you association but also pray for the people who need their hearts to be drawn towards Jesus. It the enemy that makes good people do bad things. Satan is the influence for all evil deeds. So don't hate the people who hate you- pray for them because only God can change their heart!
Anyways, so in this last year while I have been watching my daughter grow I have slowly been learning to enjoy the little things. We don't know when our last day is. And we don't know when our loved ones last day is- so always be kind. Please stop judging others. Who cares if they are different than you are! God made them beautiful in their own way. I know and believe I am completely healed and the same God that healed me can do wonderful things in your life. I am living one day at a time and I have so much to be thankful for. Like to be here today to share my testimony with you. I have peace on my heart and I would love for everyone to have this peace. That whatever happens tomorrow, everything we be okay. This world is just our temporary stop before we get to go home. Thank you for reading! Blessings

Our little miracle- baby Estie Grace

Hello to all of you readers. Over the last few months I have been soaking in every precious moment with my beautiful baby daughter. God has blessed us with a true miracle- a healthy, sweet, adorable baby girl. At my last post I think I was about 32 weeks pregnant. Estie came to us early at 35 weeks. It was a scary but very exciting experience. My water broke early morning at 6:45 and we went to the hospital to confirm that I was in labor. I was already 3cm dilated and having contractions 3-4 minutes apart that I did not feel. I got some Pitocin and got admitted. Over the hours the contractions got stronger and more painful and closer. I took a bath around 3 and then got some fentanyl once the bath wasn't helping anymore at around 4-by then I was 6cm dilated. The fentanyl only helped for about 15 minutes and then I asked for the epidural. I got the epidural at 4:30 when I was 8cm, and it kicked in fully around 5pm and by then I was 10cm and ready to push. Just remembering all of this brings back such an interesting yet special memory! When I started pushing the only people in the room were my husband, my doula, and my nurse. After only a couple of sets up pushing her head started to show. Yan and me were like, shouldn't we wait for a doctor?? But Estie was coming so fast that they called them in at 5:15 and at 5:20 I started pushing again. Estie came out at 5:39 and started crying right away. I was in such a dream that I still get emotional thinking about it. She was so small and sweet and holding her was the best feeling ever. She was 5 pounds 1 ounce, 18 inches long and a whole lot of perfection. The NICU nurses took her away and she needed help with her breathing until the next day. It was hard to see her with so many wires but I was so thankful to God for modern day help from doctors. She started having some apnea and after a couple of days they decided to give her some caffeine. She would stop breathing and that would make her heart rate fall and so they said the caffeine would help her and it did. The checked her brain with an ultrasound and did some tests for infections to rule out if those were the cause of the apnea but all the results were good so they said it's from the prematurity. Estie was in the Nicu for 11 days and while she was there she did blue light therapy twice for her jaundice levels. Her weight dropped down to 4 pounds 9 ounces and then went back to 5 2 ounces when she went home. When she was able to go home it was the happiest moment. We were so excited, I got so tired living there because I stayed with her every day and night. I could not leave her and when I did I felt so bad even though she was practically always sleeping. My recovery was very good. The 2nd day was the hardest because it felt like I was hit by a train but then everything was easier. The swelling and water weight went away within days. I had colostrum instantly, my milk came in on the 3rd day and I had so much milk that I was freezing.
All of the nurses and doctors loved Estie saying that she was beautiful, feisty and a perfect preemie. She ate so well and everything about her was just the way it needs to be. Shes still the most amazing baby and such a sweetheart! Shes a little behind for her age but that's okay! Before we know it she will be crawling, walking, talking- we are just enjoying these amazing moments. We are so in love with her. Thank you everyone for your prayers. God promised- and he came through. Like he always does.
Hello readers!
Update on my wonderful pregnancy- I am almost 32 weeks and I cannot believe how fast the time is going!
Seems like I just found out the gender and that was 14 weeks ago, I have 8 left! Its unbelievable to think that I will be holding my little lady soon. Watching my belly grow has been the most interesting feeling as her movements increased, my love for her grew. Sometimes i feel like she will rip right out of my belly lol. She get hiccups, she kicks, she gets moving when she hears papas voice. I cannot wait to lay my eyes on her. I am so thankful to God for this opportunity to bring a life into this world- even though I know it is all him, he is using me. And I am praying for that wisdom. So since my last post, they checked, and my placenta moved! This means I will be able to try to have a natural birth without a c-section. Unless if there is some emergency of course. I am still debating on if I want to get epidural but that is what everyone says. I most likely will ask for the smallest dose and then get more if I can't handle it. I have not been having anxiety about the birth but that will probably change soon. I have had major nesting urges. All I want to do is clean and reorganize, but I cannot do much right now because we are doing a full blown remodel on our whole downstairs and the coming baby room. Which is not even close to being ready. Golly.
Update on how I have been feeling: GREAT
However, I started feeling the weight of the baby around 25 weeks and it gets harder every week. Sometimes I feel like I have to roll out of bed, and my feet have been hurting after a couple of hours of being on them. Lately, it has been really hot, and just this last week at 31 weeks, I experienced my first feet swelling lol. It wasn't bad, but wasn't comfortable. I just need to remember to elevate my feet, not sit for a long time, drink enough water, and stay away from a lot of salt. So far, that has been the only major issue. Everything else has been going smooth, thank God.
Yanik built out little girl the cutest closet, and it is already full of super cute clothes, shoes, swaddles. That is the only thing I have ready and the bassinet, but that's the main stuff right?
Anyways, I'll stay in touch!

xoxo Regina

Baby after Aplastic Anemia and Chemotherapy

Hello dear readers!
I know, I know, it's been a while. But that's a good thing right? Still means that everything is going great and I have nothing to write about really. However, I do have a lot of new updates! Especially for those who don't keep up with me via Insatgram (Dressy_daisy).
Ok well I don't even know where to start!
Since my one year after transplant post, things were pretty steady. I was taking an iron chelator medication here and there to help lower my iron level. That worked for a little and it went down to about 1,000. As mentioned before it should be anywhere from 7-207 for an average person. Mine was super high from all the transfusions I received that helped me, well basically, live. That was about September when they checked. At that appointment my doctor talked to me and he told me that I need to wait another year to try to get pregnant. At least it was a very strong recommendation. Yes, I was very disappointed and heart broken but I knew that he has education in this stuff and that he knows better than me. He said that there just isn't enough research and information on aplastic anemia and pregnancy for him to tell me it's okay. Also with chemo, they recommend 2 years also so that there are less chances of birth defects. Of course there were tears and prayers coming from me after. And then the more I testified my story, the more I realized that God has done so much wonderful things in my life and he will not stop! I knew anything is possible with him and I started praying for a healthy baby. I prayed over my womb daily and proclaimed in Jesus name that I am healed and that when I do get pregnant that I will have a healthy child.  I went back to OHSU in December to do all my vaccines. I had 6 of them done and little did I know, I had conceived that week! Yes I got pregnant. This would mark 1 year and 4 months after transplant. This was also 2 years and 2.5 months after we got married and we always talked about waiting 2 years to have kids and it coincidentally fell on this mark. It all started on Christmas day when I felt tired all of the sudden like a wave half way through the day and then 2 days later I was having to pee every hour. 3 days after Christmas I checked and sure enough I was pregnant. A positive line right away. Of course I had to double check lol. I even checked one more time on my lunch break at work. I kept this in all day and when I got home from work I made Yanik a sweet surprise box so that I could tell him that I am pregnant. I put it under the tree and had him open it. Lets just say, it was the most sweetest and happiest moment of our lives. He was smiling for the rest of the week! God had sent me a miracle baby and it was ours to keep. The fact that I conceived was just an incredible feeling that I was waiting for. Everything that I was praying for. After I confirmed my pregnancy at a local clinic I was very worried about the vaccines so I called my doctors office and they assured me that they should not have an effect on the baby since they were not live vaccines. Thank God! I had polio, Hep B, tetanus, Prevna, hep a, and meningitis (very sore arms after by the way-3 on each arm lol).
When I had my 12 week appointment and my first ultrasound, it felt so unreal. I couldn't hold back the tears but at the same time I still couldn't believe it. They said that the baby looks healthy and with it's strong heartbeat that it's a keeper. Words that all expecting mamas want to hear. Of course they told me that I am gonna be high risk and they will have to closely monitor me and my aplastic anemia in case if it returns and that its an antepartum pregnancy but I believe that I am healed from it and that it wont. In fact, I don't even feel like I'm high risk because everything has been so perfect and smooth. I don't see my doctor more than any other normal pregnant women. Once a month! But not everything has been perfect, my iron did go up to 1600 by the beginning of the pregnancy so I decided to do a few phlebotomy draws and that helped bring it down to 1000 and I might do a few more. It's basically like donating blood but they take half as much because I'm pregnant and they just throw it away because its not usable. My poor veins are so done, half the time its hard for the nurses to find a good vein without hurting me. But this is all a season and it too will pass! It could be worse, I could still be sick.

Well anyways, today I am 22 weeks and 3 weeks ago we found out that we are having a little GIRL!!!
We are beyond excited and I cannot wait to hold her already and kiss her sweet face. I have waited my whole life for her! I started feeling her kicks at 17 weeks, and they have not stopped. Especially when I eat something, it's like a dance party in there hehe.
Also they told me that I might have placenta previa at my 18 week appointment and so they had to double check me 3 weeks later. It's when the placenta makes its home low in the uterus and close to the cervix and mine is low lying right now. If it doesn't move, this can lead to complications and also means I would need to get a c-secion about 3 weeks early. The last thing I want or need is to be cut. When I went back last week, her head was in the way so they told me that they will keep watching it to see and said to come back in 8 weeks. By then they will clearly be able to see if the placenta slid over or not. Placenta previa can be dangerous and they have to watch for bleeding but my doctor assured me that it's not the scariest thing and that most likely the placenta moves. I pray it does! Also they checked my baby for genetic disorders and for down syndrome and all the results came back looking really good with a very small chance of the baby having anything, thank God. They say that she looks like a very healthy baby, and to me she already looks perfect! Her little nose and face shape are so precious!
Back in October of 2014, God said in my prophecy that he was still gonna still send us a great happiness. This was a month before I was hospitalized for aplastic anemia, so I didn't even know what was coming! Because of this promise, I never once doubted my healing or my ability to have children. Even when the doctors told me that I might not be able to have kids, I rebuked those words in Jesus name. My husband was so wonderful, he always told me that God was going to heal me and that everything would be okay. I knew my heavenly father was watching over me and that he was gonna send us this child. He kept telling me later: trust, pray, proclaim, believe, and always be thankful! He wanted me to believe and he said that I would receive and that he was protecting and keeping me safe. He is so loving!! Friends, words and faith have power. God is always on our side, we just have to have hearts like children, believe even when the world says no, when the doctors say no, when the results say no. Because God can say YES.
Two years passed since that promise, so don't be discouraged when your prayers aren't answered the minute you ask them. God must first take you through a journey in order for you to grow and learn.
And look, everything has been falling back into place after our trial and now we have learned to trust in the Lord more. Our love is deeper for each other and our foundation is much stronger.  After chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant a baby is possible! We have an angel coming soon, and we cannot wait to finally meet her. The most important thing is that she will be healthy. Thank you all for reading, I will try to keep up all updated on anything new. Be blessed!
xoxo

Aplastic anemia, Bone Marrow transplant 1 year update

I am writing today to give praise to our heavenly Father, King of Kings.
Life has been so busy and I've been too busy to keep up with my blog, and to that I can thank God. Why you ask? Because life is back to being as normal as it used to be. Daily tasks keep me busy like a normal person. Oh boy does it feel good. This can account on why this post is a little late..
3 weeks ago I hit my 1 year anniversary since my bone marrow transplant. It was a year ago that I was in the hospital, looking out the window at the 'normal' healthy people going on about with their lives, some with not a care in the world. I was battling a battle inside my head mentally, spiritually with the good and the evil, and physically. Every day was hard on it's own but God was with me the whole time like he promised. His care for me was like that of a mother with a newborn. He rocked me to sleep every night and put his angels in my room to fight off anything that can harm me. Not enough words can describe the love I continue to feel from him. I love him more and more every day as I think about how blessed I was and how he spared my life and literally kept me from feeling the things everyone feels with this deadly sickness. And he is putting everything back into place. Like he said he would.
So as for updates on my life after aplastic anemia, my counts have been at a solid normal for a while now. My iron is still dangerously high and it goes up and down but is not going down as fast as I would like it to. The doctors want to do a 1 year evaluation which includes a bone density test as well as a bone marrow biopsy. This will be my 5th and I am scared to death of this procedure as you all know because it is extremely painful. My insurance changed and so I will be transferring to a new oncology specialist and I am kinda worried about that because I do not know what to expect.
Also after 1 year they do a test that checks if the ovaries are still functioning. They did my test and I am not menopausal so thank Jesus! They said everything looks good so far from what it is showing. Yes I only had 5 days of chemo but it was pretty intense.
I am pretty sure a lot of people have been wodering about my hair..
I have not been comfortable enough to talk about it yet, but I feel like I am ready now.
Yes, I lost my hair 10 days after the transplant. My hair was so long, it was well past half way down my back. I cried when I started seeing pieces of hair on my pillow, prayed when was able to easily pull out pieces without any effort. After being in denial and having my hair in a bun for a few days I finally decided it was time to wash it. As I took out the head band, a quarter of my hair came out with it. The rest I was just able to basically just brush out. I bawled in shock as my husband held me close and told me it was going to be okay. I am still surprised how strong he was as he didn't cry with me, but instead got the nerve to shave the rest of my head. After my shower, I never cried about my hair again. He went to the store for me and got me head scarves and when I put them on he told me that I looked so much cuter than I did with the dirty old bun. I was 15 pounds over my normal weight at that time too so you can only imagine how self conscious I was feeling. But no, he still loved me, was attracted to me, and looked at me the same way he did the day we said our vows.
What I am thankful for also is that I got to keep my eye lashes and eye brows and they both got a lot thicker, and with a wig and cap, you couldn't even tell that I was sick. I didn't want people to know because I don't like sympathy and don't want pity. I am who I am, what happened, happened. I am okay with it. But a lot of people did know because they knew I was gonna take chemotherapy. And about the hair, the only thing that mattered after it fell out was if it was going to grow back. And as soon as I felt it, I was so happy. One thing is to lose it, it's another when it never grows back which can happen. So thank the Lord. With every month, my hair grew and I felt better about my self. I recently was able to get a trim and my husband wouldn't even let me touch the wig because he said I was too beautiful for it. It took a year for me to grow it out to where I was comfortable with it, but that is because my hair grows very slowly. And it's just hair. I know there are much greater things people have to live without forever, like a limb or ability to walk, see or hear. Be thankful if you have all of those. Be thankful if nothing about your health is bothering you. Be thankful to be alive. Be thankful if you are a christian and God has found you and set you apart from the world. Be thankful for everything that you have and everyone.
I will keep you all posted on everything new or any updates. Thank you for reading. Blessings.
xoxo

9 Months Out + Brothers testimony

Hello loved ones. Yes it has already been 9 months since transplant and it is crazy to think about how fast time passes. With every day and lab test, more good news and progress is noted. I had my labs done yesterday and my red blood is at 12.7 and platelets are at 150. My iron is still very high and went up, probably because my body is producing it now too, and it is at 1678, SUCKS :/
But I am still taking meds for that, I will try to be better about taking them. My doctor says I am doing great and my labs have been changed from once a week to once a month!! Praise God. After being poked every other day, this is such a blessing to my poor arms. This gives me more free time also and makes me feel more normal. I was listening to my prophecies yesterday and wow, God came through. So much was opened to me, and I realized how much God was with me. He told me he would be with me, he would do great miracles, he would help me and I would testify. I can see this stuff folding out in front of my eyes. A very small amount of people have very few or even no side effects from chemo and I was one of them. By Gods grace, that wasn't in my cup to drink through this already hard trial. I even felt okay since the day I got sick. Yes when I was severely anemic I did not feel great and had headaches and petechiae but I have been anemic for the last year and a half and I felt a lot more wonderful than the average semi-anemic person. I lived life, I went on. A person is the sickest when they let themselves feel that way. During all my labs and infusions I did not feel the poke or needle half the time. All in all, God is good, all the time. One of the things God told me almost 3 years ago, before I got sick, was that he was gonna use me and I was gonna testify. And his words are life and are true. Aside my testimony, here's another one...
I am from a big family with 5 brothers and 1 sister. I have loving parents that have raised us up to be who we are today. However, what they teach us does not mean that the world can't change us. No family is perfect and we all have problems. My little brother Alex was my donor, hes 23, and he had problems recently involving drug use. I am not embarrassed to say that because it is very common, and it's the devil that manipulates and ruins people, not the person themselves. We live in a sinful world and we need to be wise about our friends, activities, and free time. He was struggling with this problem on and off for some time and it put a strain on his relationship with God. When I told him he's a match to be my donor, there was no hesitation from him. Well, I had many people who said they would do it for me if they could. By the time the transplant came around and he had donated to me, he was given pain killers. I can't say this was the issue for him, but like stating before, there was a strain. He wasn't serious about anything and eventually wasn't working anymore. A few weeks after transplant my mom told him I had a minor infection and he felt so guilty. He thought, why is she the sick one? She's done nothing and I am the bad one here... It made him think.. A couple days later he had set up arrangements with God Will Provide Ministries Church in Sacramento California. He wanted to get away and have a fresh start. He needed to rekindle that fire that used to burn in his heart for the Lord. He entered their 6 month program and graduated in February. This last weekend, my mom, sister and sister in law, brother and cousin flew down to support him. Wanna know why? He got baptized! He turned his life around and surrendered it all at the foot of the cross. It was a very special and touching day. We are all very proud of him. And to top it off, he's gonna continue to serve and may God bless him. He is on a missionary trip in Panama City right now. He will be there for 6 months! At some point he will be there on his own running the church. I am so happy that God is using him. He's testifying about me, I'm testifying about him, it's astonishing. He's the brother I would beat up growing up, and he is the brother that saved my life. Please keep him in your prayers, as this will not be an easy thing for him. So as you can see, God is doing his work. But this is only the beginning, Keep posted.
Blessings
xoxo

4-26-2016

Today is a good day to remember. My blood count is finally in the normal! I am soooo happy and so thankful to God for keeping his promise and healing me and for giving me life. I got my second chance and it's a great reason to testify and spread the love. My red blood is finally at 12.3 and the average is 12-16. It's been almost 9 months since transplant. Yes, it might be a little longer than usual but I  am very grateful. My hemoglobin was always around 7 or less since November 2014. So I was anemic and had the life of a weak person for a while even though somehow God gave me the strength to keep up with my daily tasks. It feels so normal and right when I can run or do an activity without the pain of my heart overworking from lack of blood. It's like a breath of fresh air. It's something we take for granted- even I did before I knew how much it is worth. My platelets are at a steady 155 (normal is 140-375) and it's been over 2 months since my last blood transfusion. It's a relief knowing I don't have to have huge needles in my arm every week and that my arms can heal. I have so much to be thankful for. Thank God for doctors, medicine, education, healing, technology, prayer, and all the things that were used during the process. I still can't believe how fast time is flying by and how my body is slowly going back to normal. Thank God!
Also the biggest testimony, and more soon to come, I am flying down to Cali in a few days to visit my brother Alex. He is my younger brother that was my donor. After my transplant he moved there and he is getting baptized this weekend so some of my family and I are flying down to support him. Stay tuned to my next blog and I will give you an amazing story about what God has done to his life. Him being my donor was God's master plan to bring him to repentance and salvation. I cannot even describe how amazing our God is and I am so overwhelmed with his love and mercy.
Anyways, I will be posting soon.
Love you all, thank you for your prayers.

8 Months Out

Hello friends and dear readers. It's been a while since I have posted anything about my recovery, but I can't help slow down the life that is flying by before my eyes. It's been 8 months since I have had the bone marrow transplant. That's 240 days! It doesn't even feel like it even though it seems like ages ago. Since my last update, a lot has changed. I went back to work in February and have been working part time and it made me feel normal again. Having an agenda, making plans. My days are longer, more productive, less lazy. I work as a pharmacy technician and have been doing this for over 6 years now. It's a very easy job for me since I sit at a computer and know how to do my job well. So in other words, stress-free. Usually. That is what is important for recovery as well as sleep. I was on a pill so that I wouldn't bleed since I got sick. I was taking it because my platelets were constantly low and they didn't want me to have my period and lose extra blood (I'm anemic, I need all the blood I can get lol). And so I didn't have a normal period for about a year and a half. After transplant, my platelets were the first to go up. Once they were over 130k they told me I can stop the medication. I still didn't get my period for about a month and a half and I was already kind of worried. Doctors said after chemo there is a chance of not having your period come back. Well guess what, it started. Better late then never, but it felt sooooo good because hey, it was another thing that made me feel normal. Some people complain about their periods, but take it away from them unwillingly and they will never complain again. You don't know what you have till it is gone... It doesn't mean I am fertile and gonna have children for sure, but we are praying for God's will. We believe that with him, all things are possible. Anyways, I was taking it easy with exercise because my heart would hurt any time I did any hard physical activity like jogging or a workout. However, at the beginning of march I noticed my blood finally started going up on it's own!! The last transfusion that I received was on 2/20/2016. that's 6 weeks ago. That's the longest it's ever been since I got diagnosed! I am so excited. My blood the first week was 6.5, the next was 7.5, then 8.3. Last Monday when they check, it was 9.7! The average is 12-16 so it is almost there. As soon as I saw it started going up, I got myself a gym membership and I have been able to work out like a normal person (I still take it easy). But I am capable, that's the point. I am also trying to lose some weight that I gained over the months and trying to get some muscles back. The steroids, chemo, water overloading, stress, and pills did a toll on me.  And it's such a relief that things are going back to the way they should. The way we all expect our lives to be before something happens and all of the sudden your sick and have to make life changing decisions. My platelets are already at 200, and my white cells started to go up as well. My iron should be 11-307 (average) and it was 1485 because of all of the transfusions. I have been on a medication exjade. It wasn't helping all that much. I started drinking a goat whey smoothie every morning with Thorne Basic Detox Nutrients and within weeks my iron has dropped down to 1072, Praise God!!  That's my biggest issue right now. Even mild iron overload can increase the risk of liver disease, cirrhosis, cancer, heart failure and heart attack, diabetes, osteoporosis, premature death. It can accelerate Alzheimer, early-onset Parkinson, huntingtons, epilepsy and multiple sclerosis. Obviously all of these are scary and are like nails on a chalk board when you hear them. That's why I am praying and hoping the iron will drop fast. All my other results look really good. They are all in the normal range, so that's awesome. My brothers cell have taken over mostly and are doing what they need to. As for whats new with me, we are in the process of buying the house we are renting right now. It fell in our lap and I just see it as God's blessing. We don't have to move anywhere and now we will be paying rent back into our own pocket. So that's exciting. Also my husband sold my crossfire and got me a new car, so that has also been the highlight of my month. All in all, this is just worldly materials, in the end they don't matter. Objects don't last, neither does this life. Cherish your life, your loved ones, your health. Be thankful every day. Be blessed :)
xoxo

Recovery

Hello lovely readers.
As the days go by, my recovery is getting better and the whole transplant is less of a reality and more of a blurry horrific memory. Nightmares seem so long when your having them, but when you wake up and realize it was only a dream there is relief, peace, and all that is left is a memory. That is how I feel. I am in this awful dream and I am on the verge of waking up. Soon this will all be nothing more than a conversation on my tongue. There will be no more appointments, no worry, no more needles! No more infusion and transfusions, no more pain. All the physical changes will pass and everything will be back to normal. The confidence and security, the strength and the energy. Honesty the only way I got through all this is from prayers. How is it that so much damage can happen to a person and they are still positive? Well God gives us hope and faith. Of course I haven't shared everything that I went through or am going through with the whole world but there is more than whats visible to the eye. More personal things. Only people who have gone through things like this can understand the things that cloud my mind. But I wanna say thank you for the prayers. Every day is getting easier, and I believe I will be back to normal in no time! The transplant is in the past, thats already a big step. Some people can't even find a donor for years. I had mine within the first 3 weeks of being diagnosed.  My brother was a donor for a reason, and that alone is another story. Where God brought him today, after the transplant. It was all for a reason, and that was for the blessing of his soul. I can see how this was all part of God's plan and he knew it would lay out this way. He knows best.
As this is a new chapter in my life, I can start making plans. Plans with my husband, plans for my future. I can actually leave town now! I don't need to get a blood test done every other day now like I did for so many months before. Now it is just once a week and I have been needing blood every 2-3 weeks. Before it was weekly. I am also tapering off of my medications slowly. Thank God. I started taking vitamins also. I have been trying to stay active and I am praying that I will be able to exercise soon. Like jogging!! Oh boy. I haven't been jogging since September 2014. My body just wouldn't allow. I can barely make it up the stairs without my heart beating crazy. So I am praying for that to come quickly. I will probably have tears of joy when I will finally feel sore muscles LOL. It's the little things. I am eating and drinking everything I want, no more gluten free! No more restrictions. It's the best feeling. I am sorry to those who don't have this luxury. I really am. My heart aches for the sick. Especially for those with lifelong health or body issues. It's just devastating. But it is a good reminder when I think about the freedom in heaven one day. No pain, no problems, just perfection.
This whole journey has taught me so much. I can see how God has poured so many new friends into my life. And the ones that were there also were brought closer to me. And he has showed me other types of people and friends that weren't really friends. I still have to be thankful. Take everything away from someone and what is left of them? I always loved that statement. The best thing we can invest in is ourselves. People want to surround themselves with people that make them feel good. People that are kind, don't gossip, aren't arrogant or rude. People who are genuine and actually care. I can always see through people who are real and are not real. But God lets his light shine on us for a reason so that we can be a good example. Proverbs says, "As iron sharpens iron, so should we sharpen the minds of others." I love this. I love friends that mold me to be better. I encourage you all, be the light. Anyways, just wanted to give a little update, yes I am doing well, and everything is still going very well. Love you all, and thank you for the prayers. xoxo

Welcome to New York

They say that New York is the city of lights. I would have to agree that this is a very busy city that is full of life. I was there for 3 days back in 2014 and I really loved it. Yes its intimidating with all of the taxis, subways, and busy streets but we were able to get around. We did however make it to the airport late so Julie and I missed our flight and had to stay an extra day which was a blessing in disguise. Yes some of the places there aren't so luxurious and nice but I am sure it is expensive to live in a place such as this. We stayed at the Wall street Inn and we really like how cute and clean it was. There was even a super cute room with breakfast that was offered in the morning. It was april so it was chilly but it was still nice to get around and get some fresh air. We did some shopping, ate some good pizza, and did a lot of walking. We got to know the subway station, the famous streets, and the populated attractions.  Here are some picture, lets start off with some of the famous Brooklyn Bridge.





Central Park:




Empire state building




 Grand Central Station


 Times Square

Hope you enjoyed my post!

Travels to the Caribbean

One of the things that I love most os to travel. I started traveling when I was 17 and am so grateful that I was able to make those memories. The best things in life are the things that are free, like seeing the beauty of God and the things that he has created. I love blogging because I can write things down that I can come back to later to read or look at. I can also add pictures that help tell the story. I want to share some of the places I went to in some posts. This post will be on the trip I took to St. Martin in April 2014. This was a very fun trip. I went with 3 of my friends Zhanna, Julie, and Marina. The island is fairly small, around 33 square miles, and is divided into two parts. A dutch and a french side. This was very interesting because its one island and the two sides have a lot of differences including language and currency. Of course it is all very beautiful but I really liked the beaches. I really like mullet bay, Friars Bay and a couple of beaches on the french side. Here are some pictures of the beautiful beaches









These next pictures are of the island Anguilla. We took a ferry over to this also small island. It is 16 miles long and 3 miles long. it is a very beautiful island and has amazing beaches. Just like St. Martin the island is poor and messy looking but the people are very friendly. The picture below is from the best beach I have been to. It is called Shoal Bay and it was rated as one of the top beaches in the world a few years back. It is truly amazing. The sand is white, the water is warm, no waves, and the weather was just perfect. 





 This picture was taken outside of our hotel:















 Last day in Paradise






Hope you enjoyed the photos!
xoxo

The big day, Day 100!

Hello everyone!
yes, can you believe it is day 100 already? I am so excited that everything has been so good so far and I pray it will stay that way. Many have been asking how I have been doing, I know I haven't wrote a blog in a while because my labs were up and down and I wanted to wait until I hit today. So much has happened also, we moved from Portland to Vancouver into a house right after transplant. So that kept me busy for some time while I was unpacking and decorating. We also got a chihuahua puppy and names him louie, he's the sweetest. The commute is much easier for my mom since she lives in Vancouver and she has been my caregiver while Yan is at work. Yans work office also moved to Vancouver so it all worked out for the best, thank God. I won't be required to have a caregiver 24-7 starting today so I can finally be on my own! I can drive now, eat whatever I want, and start taking vitamins I wasn't allowed to before. They say severe GVHD (Graf vs Host disease) usually occurs in the first 30-60 days. Thank God I passed that, but I am not in the clear yet. I can still develop acute GVHD from now to the rest of my life I believe? They said I can't ever get sunburnt and have to wear spf 30 for the rest of my life. I love the sun and I love to tan so that sucks, but the bright side is that I will help prevent skin cancer since many people don't realize the damage a little sun can do. We really need a vacation and doctors said we can go as soon as 6 months after transplant, but the further away the more safe it is for me.
Since I've been home from transplant I have been going back to OHSU 2 times a week. I would be there for about 2.5-6 hours at a time depending what I needed done. Every time I would need magnesium because the cyclosporin made it drop. I would also still need a unit of blood every week. Every time I met the doctors my responses were the same: I feel great, no nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, fatigue or weakness. These are the side affects people have after transplant. Thank God I did not have any. The power of prayer. So thank you to those who prayed for me. Doctors always said I was doing great.
I had a third bone marrow biopsy done at the end of October. It was the most painful one so far. Of course Yanik was there with me holding my hand while I almost broke his lol. I was sore for a few days but I am back to normal now. The results showed that my body is slowly producing cells and 90% of them are donor cells (my brothers) and 10% mine and that is great but they want more than 90 so they might change up some of my meds or taper me off some faster. I have been on a lot of antibiotics and that slowed the process a little. Also my white blood kept going up and down and so I would get the neupogen shot. Last time I got it the same time as I got the pneumonia vaccine and I seriously thought I was gonna have a heart attack and die in my sleep lol. Well its not really funny, but when I think about it I know thats probably very unlikely. Just with every heart beat I felt pain as if it was beating so hard and I couldn't move my left arm and shoulder for 2 days, and the other shot made all my bones hurt especially my hips. Lets just say I needed to take strong pain meds to sleep.
Aside from that I didn't have too much pain until this week. I had my line in my chest removed! So excited I wont have those weird eyes looking at it in public haha. Well also I can take a bath now. For the last year I have been taking showers anyways. And I take them sitting down since it saves energy which I don't always have. The removal of the port didn't take 20 min like usual, no it took a whole hour. Since Im young and my body heals fast, it built a lot of tissue around the port so the doctor couldn't pull it out. Lots of pulling and tugging left some bruising and a very tender chest. Thank God they got it out and now it is just healing. The hole is smaller than dime size so I'm hoping for very minimal scarring.
I am still taking most of the same meds but will be tapering down eventually. Some of the size effects are annoying and make me feel self-conscious at times, but I have so much more to be thankful for, like my life. I transition to Kaiser this week so I will be going there now instead and only once a week. Any treatments I will need will have to be done through a needle in the arm again. Can't say I've missed it.. I actually have not been back to church yet, I almost did but it didn't work out. I think I will be going back this week or next as soon as I get an okay from my doctor. I really miss it!
As for now, we are just waiting for full restoration and healing. I am healed like God said, and I do get to testify, now its just a matter of time while he is still doing his work.
Love you all, be blessed!

Day 21 after transplant- I AM HOME

Hello everyone, yes I got released from OHSU on day 17,  a few days ago and I have just been soaking it in. My counts went up from 470 to 1,800 over night and so the doctor was like okay missy, your out of here lol. Since I was doing so good when I was discharged my appointments were switched from every day to twice a week. Woohoo! It was the best feeling even though I knew the battle wasn't over. A part of me didn't want to leave because I wasn't fully healed yet. God said there will be a miracle and people will be amazed but I realized that God is still still doing his work. I will be fully restored and I believe with all of my heart that God is with me and this is still part of the plan. I do not know what will happen or how but I trust him completely that whatever happens, he is in charge and holds the world in his hands. My total healing will come and I believe I will testify, it's just a matter of time while he works on me, my family and friends, and others who have been touched by my story. I am thankful for the new friends I made there with the cna's and nurses and you can see they were excited for me to be going home. When I was leaving my heart hurt for the ones that had to stay behind in the hospital. Especially the ones who wouldn't ever walk out of there. Sickness can rob a person of everything, but to us believers it can't rob us of our faith if our roots are planted in deep. It can't rob us of salvation and hope, and it defiantly cant change that fact that HE who is in us is stronger than he who is of this world.
It's interesting how we humans think this and that and then we are humbled because God is like, no, I'm not done yet. Or he does things in a way we don't expect, he works in mysterious ways. The best thing you can do is say, LORD, I trust and believe in you, and thank him for everything. When I got home I was very glad to have my freedom. Sleeping on your own bed at night is something people shouldn't take for granted. A roof over your head is a wish some people can only dream of. I slept so good at night :) And the next day was just as great, time started to pass at a more steady rate, I got to cook and do easy cleaning. My mom has been with me while Yanik is at work and so she is my caregiver for now. I had my first check up yesterday, my white blood count went down to 1,000 but I got another shot to help increase this number. I got a unit of red blood cells and platelets since my body hasn't started producing them yet. My magnesium is kinda always low because of the cyclosporin but thats okay. My hands and my feet are very sensitive after the chemo. My feet hurt more, and what I mean is that when I bend my feet like to squat or bend them they hurt pretty badly. It's a weird sensitive pain I can't really describe. Feels like the top layer is not there and they are dry. So even when I was walking today the numbing effect had me back on a chair in a matter of seconds. But it can be so much worse, I can't complain. I have so much to be thankful for, I am alive.
And I can prove this, because my best friend Krestina has been with me this week and she got sick the other day in my bed. Her heart kept stopping, she kept dying. Her brain tells her to wake up, and she gasps in a deep breath finally after not breathing for up to 15 seconds and her body starts to seize and shake and all we can do is hold and shake her and make sure she wakes up, breaths, and stays awake and doesn't go unconscious. When I think of suffering, I think of her. I mean how is my sickness suffering? I'm not in constant pain, I can eat whatever I want, I can sleep and still enjoy life. I will be fully healed and restored. She has been battling these attacks for 3 years! Mayo clinic sent her home and told her she had 3 weeks to live. Well look how big our God is. He is the one who decides that. Not people who are made by him. With him the impossible is possible. But please keep her in your prayers, she needs this healing, but it's in Gods hands and he is doing his work. So please keep us both in your prayers, so that our faith wont be shaken, and for God to do his work through us. As best friends, we are here to pick each other up as we go through the same battles in life and I know that God will be using us both after we finish drinking from this cup of suffering. Then he will put everything into place like he promised. I see it as a puzzle, he will bless us both in every way. This includes our health, beauty, having children even when doctors say otherwise, great blessings and the rewards he said are waiting for us. Love you all, thank you for reading.
xoxo

Day 22, +16 after transplant

Hello friends.!
I am happy to say that I can say that I am still doing very well. No matter what, I am on the road to recovery and God is with me. I am in his hands and he is carrying me. Since the day that I have been here, he has helped and protected me. Compared to most of the patients on this floor, I am just cruizing it, waiting for Gods work to be done. As I have mentioned in the beginning, chemo has barely had an effect on me. My best friend Krestina surprised me yesterday and walked into my hospital room in comfy clothes holding a care package. Of course I was in shock to see her, she drove for over 3 days with her husband just to see me! And she's the sick one I mentioned before, I mean her doctors told her not to go anywhere but she was like nu-uh, I have to see my reggie. We had a blast, she made the day fly by and she will be with me for the next few days. I am very, very happy she is here with me.
Well here is some more good news! My white blood count has been slowly going up. This means my immune system is getting stronger. On my previous post it has gone up to 130. Well then the next day it stayed the same, it didn't go up or down, and then yesterday it was at 220. Today my doctor called me a super cruiser and said my counts are at 470. Well he said they are at 700 but out of the good cells they look at its about 470. I just need a little more, they are saying I might be out of here tomorrow, Sunday the latest! Oh I can't wait. But I will not forget Gods promise, he will not be late, he will fully restore me. I am so thirsty for that full restoration, for that freedom. Health is so important friends, take care of your bodies.
Today they wanna slowly start taking me off the iv medications that go into my body through the port and start giving me oral meds so that when I leave I can just be taking oral tabs. The fight might just be over soon. For those who do not know what aplastic anemia is, its a condition where there is a deficiency of all types of blood cells caused by failure of bone marrow development. Doctors don't always know how it develops as it can be different for many people. It can leave you fatigued and with higher risk of infections and uncontrolled bleeding. Symptoms can include:
  • Fatigue
  • Shortness of breath with exertion
  • Rapid or irregular heart rate
  • Pale skin
  • Frequent or prolonged infections
  • Unexplained or easy bruising
  • Nosebleeds and bleeding gums
  • Prolonged bleeding from cuts
  • Skin rash
  • Dizziness
  • Headache
    • Aplastic anemia can become chronic, it can be very severe (as mine was) and can even be fatal. Krestina said she did research and saw that many people with aplastic anemia don't even make it through the chemo because it is so hard on the body. Patients with severe, chronic aplastic anemia that does not respond to available treatments have a 80% chance of dying within 18-24 moths. On top of that, people with this condition are at higher than average risk for developing leukemia. As you all can see now, this isn't just a walk in the park but this is a scary condition. And God has been with me the whole time!!! His hands have been holding me. Even when my counts were super low, when I didn't have many platelets or red blood in my body, when I had no immune system, he was always with me. I am very blessed that I can even share my story and be so positive about it because I know that I will be okay. And you know what, I am thankful for it all. It hasn't been easy always mentally, but it could be so much worse. I just don't allow the enemy to give me thoughts that would be scary. Always keep a positive attitude about life's circumstances, as this can lead you out to a path that is better for the salvation of your soul.  Wanna say thank you all for praying, God hears prayers. Let me know if you would like me to keep you in your prayers, as I would love to. God bless you all!
    xoxo

    Encounter with the Good one and the evil one

    Hello my dear family and friends! Today is tuesday august 18th, day +13 for me at OHSU. This means that I have been here for 19 days now. Boy do I want to go home. It doesn't feel this long though, as the days seem to be going by faster. I am making more friends, growing closer to the nurses and CNA's, and having visitors left and right and I am able to tell them about all the great things that the Lord is doing in my life. A couple updates, I AM DONE with chemotherapy. I had my last dose on day 11. It's a very very small dose, but still knowing that poison is not going into my body any more, Praise the Lord! Doctors say I am doing very well, constantly telling me I look great, to keep up the good work. I stay active, I walk, still no nausea or vomiting or any other side effects. The only thing that kind of hurts is my hands and feet are really sensitive. Also yesterday my legs were hurting and come to find out, that my white blood count is finally going up from 0.! It went up to like 160 the doctor said in 1 day (<0.1 to 0.13). They usually release people to go home when the counts are at 500-1000 (.5) and I hope to go home soon! That can be in a few days. I also started on a new shot last night to help boost the white and so they will come into effect also. I just really miss the sun, home, normal life, and freedom. Anyways as a believer I believe there is a spiritual warfare going on. I know the enemy isn't happy with me. I mean who is this girl that thousands of people are praying for? God said he will use her to save people. People all over the world are getting inspired and affected. I forgot to mention that when I was getting my transplant and I was in so much pain, my blood pressure was 170 over 111. That is very very high. That was just from the pain that I was feeling. My nurse was scared that I was going to have a stroke! Well God was with me then, he is with me now. Three nights ago I was sleeping and out of nowhere I get this dream and my body starts shaking like lightening is going through my body again like my previous 2 dreams that were just like this. Expect this time I heard a loud yell and it was saying while my body was shaking, in russian, MY MERCY IS GREAT!!!!!! I know it was from God. He came to comfort me. While I was waking from the dream I was still shaking/ twitching and I woke up and started crying from such a dramatic effect. I know God will heal me, possibly in a similar way. He did say he will shock many people and many will be shaken. Maybe my healing has already begun, but I believe there will be a miracle and everything will be okay. Well I woke up and called my nurse. She is a believer also and she said she couldn't do another blood test for me but there was blood on my sweater, its never happened before, and it wasn't from my port, as there was no proof of blood oozing. She got a little scared and said she would do the test again. She came back and said my counts were still low but something happened. My red count did go up. Well I knew it was another dream but God is with me, and it gave me so much peace.
    Well like I said there is a good one and evil one. The next night while I was sleeping and around 12am I knew my nurse had just left my room and I was just snoozing and I heard someone in my room on the right side of my bed. I turned my head to the right and I saw a black figure standing there looking down on me. It was very creepy and I tried to force my eyes open to wake up and when I finally opened my eyes I was alone in the room. I started praying and saying, devil be gone in the name of jesus! And started to sing, 'what can wash away my sins, nothing but the blood of jesus' and immediately I felt the weight coming off my chest. I prayed and went back to bed. As soon as I feel asleep he came back to torment me in my dreams. I dreamt that I was here in this room on this bed and he was torturing me in every way. He was pushing me and shoving me all over my bed, there was a spirit under my blanket almost like air pushing me. I couldn't escape. I cried out to jesus. I tried grabbing my phone to text someone to pray for me, but as soon as I did the phone broke in half. He was laughing and tormenting me. It felt like forever. Finally it was over and I forced my eyes open to a dark empty room. It was only a dream! Thank you Lord. But it was the scariest encounter I have ever had. I know he wants to attack and destroy me. Especially when things are going so good for me. I know he hates me because God is stirring so many hearts. And I am glad that he can use me. The thought of having God not with you is the most dreadful thing people will face in hell. And I thought God, why would you let that happen to me? And I can only think of this: so that I know what it's like without God. So that when I will testify and tell my story, that I will also want to convince people to repent. My heart goes out to all the unsaved people. This was a dream! But in hell, its forever torment and suffering. There is no end. Its so much worse and so much more pain. People I beg you, make your paths straight with the Lord. You don't know when your last breath is. And we all think we are "christian" but by who's standards? Sinning now has become such a normal thing. Don't forget that God is a jealous and strict God. He hates sinners and loves his children. Always confess your sins, and do whatever you can to follow his rules and to love others as much as you love yourself. Be thankful for what you have, with cheerful hearts give thanks to the Lord. Thank you all who continue to pray for me, your prayers are keeping me strong. God bless you all, love you all.
    xoxo

    Day +9

    Hello everyone,
    just want to update you on everything. Today is day 15 for me, and also day +9 after the transplant. I know God is with me, he always is. Doctors told me I would feel crummy around day 7 and guess what, I still feel great. Still no nausea, no mouth sores, no weakness. I have a full appetite and eat a lot every day. My amazing mother and mother in law are constantly bringing me yummy food. How can I not eat? hehe. I still have my energy, I do many laps around the floor every day and I even exercise. Getting my body ready to get out of here! I know its prayers that reach to God and that is why I feel so good. Chemo hasn't been hard on me. And I know this because God said he is with me, not to be afraid, and that he cares so much for me. No more than he cares for you :) I still have a small dose of chemo scheduled for day 11. I get infused every day with things like antibiotics, cyclosporin, anti-fungals, and other things as well as red blood and platelets when needed. But not much is new. Everything is the same if not better. I'm sleeping better through the nights, the days are going by faster. I mean day 15!? Feels like its like day 6. Even though I am so ready to go home. I miss my home so much, my bed, my freedom, my health. Most of all I miss being with my husband without this burden on this shoulder. When I think about the healing that is coming, I get emotional with happiness and thankfulness to the Lord that he is so good to me. He is doing something big and unlike many sick people, I am very lucky and fortunate. Things can be so much worse! I feel so bad for cancer patients. They suffer so much it breaks my heart. They are in this place for months at a time. I can't imagine. They say aplastic anemia with a sibling donor is the thing to have since it's so much easier to recover than cancer. I met a girl here named Jen, she is so sweet. She is battling with leukemia and I got a note slipped under my door this morning from her. She is going home, I am so happy for her. I know its a friendship from the Lord and I know that I will be in contact with her and she will find peace in knowing that God can help her like he is helping me. My testimony is for her too, she is my age and getting married soon.. I was so happy when I found out she's leaving. Just the thought of freedom curls my toes. Soon Regina, soon your blessing will come and everything will fall into place the Lord said. Oh I cannot wait.! God is good. I love seeing people go home. Theres another patient who is paralyzed and is laying in here bed here all day long. Maybe one day I can find the courage to pray for her. All I know is that the Lord can and will continue to speak through me to people. All I have to do is open my mouth and let my heart pour out whatever he has to say. Oh the hours I spend laying in bed at night not being able to sleep. Not wanting to sleep because my thoughts run wild. Happy thoughts, hopeful thoughts, thoughts of a better time and place. I just want to say thank you to those who are praying. God hears and he answers. He is so good. Cast your burdens on him, always be thankful, and don't ever get upset at him. He want you happy, its the enemy that is the deceiver that comes and steals away. God is our father, whatever we go through is for the blessing of our souls. We might not see it on this earth where there is always pain, but we will get our reward in heaven, stay strong, hang in there. Also my best friend Krestina is very sick. We have gone through a lot together, and I love her very much. Please keep her in her prayers as she has been struggling for years with an auto immune disorder that is wearing her out. Please pray for her healing, her faith, restoration, and happiness. Be blessed, thank you for reading.
    xoxo

    Day +6

    Hello friends,
    today is day 12 for me, and day +6 after transplant. You know, I feel great! They say that day 7-13 is usually hardest but thank Jesus I still feel good. I haven't been having nausea, I have been sleeping, keeping a big appetite, and I am still very active. Usually when your white blood count is at 0 is when they say you start to experience the hardest times. I am already at that point with nothing to show for it but a smile on my face because I still feel good. I pray the chemo won't come out at me and smack me in the face, I am hoping for things to remain good. I have lost almost all of the water weight and I am almost back to my normal weight.

    The days seem to be going by faster and faster and I just love when my mom or my husband are here. With mom, she washes me (I have the energy but its almost like being pampered) and we hang out. She gives me massages, makes me tea, keeps me company and is a great support system. Also, when my husband is here, it's almost as if everything is ok. We still hang out and have a good time together. I am so blessed with him. Best husband ever. He loves me so much.
    I have a couple more doses of chemo I will receive including today and then on day 11. On the brighter side, to those who believe in God, something crazy is about to happen.
    Almost 2 years ago I had word from a prophesy from God that I will have a trial I will go through, that I will testify, and God will use me to help get to people and he will save them. A year later he told me my trial is coming up, and eventualy I got sick. After I got admitted to the hospital, another word came that he will heal me and I will feel healing like lightening running through my blood... before I even found out I had a blood disease! God is so good, I get all overwhelmed whenever I think about it. Anyways, over the months I had more word come to me..."daughter don't be afraid I will help you," "I will send you dreams," "I will use doctors," "proclaim victory, for I have given you faith that will reach the heavens and your prayers will be answered and it will be for my glory," 'the situation of which you are praying for will be changed." These were all prophesies that I have collected and still have recorded on my phone and let me tell you, they are keeping me strong! When ever I need a pick me up, I am reminded that God will NEVER leave or forsake me, for he said the care over me is great. And since God said he was gonna use doctors I was very afraid because I didn't want too receive chemo or lose my hair, I didn't want the chance of infertility even though God said he will still send us a blessing. At first I refused treatment and tried the natural way and nothing helped. And so when I agreed to the transplant, it was like saying, Okay God, my life is in your hands now, let your will be done.! Whatever is it, if i do lose my hair, its ok. You give and take away, so you can take away whatever you like. But God said he will give me peace about the things I am praying about, and I pray these 2 will be the ones he considers to grant me for being his servant.. I believe! I also had a couple of dreams I believe are from God. The very first one was that there was a snake at church and it was hiding and everyone was trying to catch it and I found it hiding and I choked it and killed it! That means sickness in my body and I will overcome i believe. The other 2 dreams I had were the same exact dream. They were very short but it was a feeling a felt. A rush of blood rush through my body. Like goosebumps x100! With a loud such in my ears, and I believe this is how I will be healed. My husband just had a dream also about snakes attacking us and a big one coming at us and he killed it with a stick and the little one scattered. I believe this is another reassurance of victory. God is so good! So after I had my transplant I had the question in my head, God didn't you say you will heal me? What was the point of the transplant if your still going to heal me? And I asked the prophet to come and pray for me. Guys, my life hasn't been the same since! I am looking forward and making plans with my husband on all the things we will do when I get out of here as well as testify. God told me, daughter don't be afraid for I am with you and I will come and show you how much I care about you. I will impress many people at this place. Many will praise me, many will be blessed, but many will be shaken, for there needs to be repentance. And I will create an enormous miracle and give you mercy and peace and cover you with my love. Guys imagine hearing this word when your sick with the incurable disease that only goes away from treatment. I believe God will take me and completely restore and heal me! I will testify, something big is gonna happen, there will be a big bang. God will shock people, people will be amazed, people will praise him! How honored am I that he is using me! Life isn't about us, we aren't here for ourselves, we aren't here just to live. God placed on this earth to spread the good news about him. And this will be my purpose, to testify that he is alive and that he lives. He brought you to this page because he loves you, he wanted you to see this. He loves you! He's trying to get to you, please don't ignore his love for you. Our God is real. Stick around for more updates, and soon you will see that everything that I wrote, it will come true. It wouldn't hurt to believe would it? What do you have to lose. Love you all, thank you for the prayers. Blessings!!
    xoxo
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